no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
