i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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