I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
