I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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