i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
