Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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