im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
