My room smells like vodka and shame
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
