just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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