From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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