I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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