Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
