The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
