fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize