Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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