There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
