dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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