Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
