just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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