is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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