My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
