no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize