every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
