I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
