i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
