Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
