I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
