Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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