I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
