Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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