I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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