do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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