Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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