so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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