we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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