i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
