you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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