my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize