Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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