on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
