he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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