I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize