this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
