if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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