dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
