so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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