Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
