It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
