Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
