When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
