If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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