Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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