Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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