Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
