she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize