just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
