fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Boobs speak an international language.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Panties = found
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
